Almost a Year

It's been almost a year. That, of itself, is hard to believe. Why does everyone say that time heals everything? Surely there are some things for which time, is an inadequate physician. I think we only hear that over and over, because no one is willing to admit to any one, least of all themselves, that in the quiet moments, in the fragments of memory sparked by every day mundane images or sounds....smells; there is pain that still resides no matter how much time has passed or what we've done to mask it. It comes in shock waves when you least expect it. It takes your breath away, and for a split second it's as if not a moment has passed since your heart broke. I believe that those who have most successfully managed to dull their pain, almost to the point of immunity, did it without time having anything to do with it. Those fortunate people, those blessed and kissed by the Grace of God, found something to replace it with. The fact is that pain takes up a space in your soul. The rememdy is to replace it with something. But what? Not time. Time is nothing. It is not motion, it is not physical, it is not even empty space.
It's been almost a year, and my heart still throbs, my body still aches, and my spirit still feels severed. I know what can replace it. I just don't know how to do it.